FAQs

I had a baby five and a half months ago. I had no sex drive prior to giving birth, and still have no sexual desire. I love my partner very much but I think his patience is running short.Also whenever my partner and I attempt to have sex it feels very painful and I feel a burning stinging sensation. Is there something wrong with me?

Answer

Sex after baby brings with it many issues, some of which you have mentioned. There are some women who havn't resumed sex for twelve months after the birth of a baby. Whats normal is what you and your partner work out for yourselves. Some of the issues that may affect your sex life after baby include:

Breastfeeding. The low levels of a hormone called oestrogen when women breastfeed can cause our sex drive or libido to be either low or high depending on the individual woman. Breastfeeding also tends to make the vagina dry so making sure you are well lubricated,using lubricant such as KY jelly or obtaining a prescription for some vaginal oestrogen cream from your local doctor may help with this.

Stitches: If you had stitches or a tear it might be that fear of hurting this area is a concern for you. Some women have had success with massaging this area with apricot or almond oil as you might have done during the pregnancy.

Contraception: Women often worry about the fear of getting pregnant again so soon after the birth. There are many different contraceptive options to consider if you dont want to have another baby soon. See your GP, FPNSW clinic or womens health centre for more information about this.

Arousal: Sometimes it is difficult to get in the mood for sex after baby. One woman told me that she and her partner had just had a bath together and the baby woke up. For them the sexual moment was gone.This is a common reaction. When you are caring for a small baby all day you feel very tired and the baby is the main focus of your attention, not your partner. Some partners may become jealous of this closeness you have with the baby. Talking with your partner about these issues is the best way so that your partner knows your feelings.

Your early childhood nurse or womens health nurse in your area can be a starting point to discuss how you are feeling. Sex is not just about penetration. Maybe you and your partner could discuss other ways of pleasuring each other at this time like kissing, cuddling, massage and just spending some quality time together.