FAQs

My 18-year-old guy and I went to have sex for the first time a couple weeks ago. He had a hard on for about 30 minutes till we decided it was time. He was ready and says he didn’t feel that nervous, but when he put on the condom he went limp. He took it off and five minutes later he went stiff again. We tried again and the same thing happened. Now he’s nervous it’s going to happen again if we try. Is this normal?

Answer

What you describe is really common for guys when they first start having sex. It's no drama! Sounds like his love-making equipment is in good working order. Using a condom every time you have sex is so important.

One idea is to get him a box of condoms and stay away from each other for the next little while - or at least away from the bedroom! Instead, he can use the time to become familiar with condoms in the privacy of his room or maybe the shower. He could try putting on a condom when he has an erection/hard-on and masturbating to orgasm. It may take several tries for it to feel good for him.

Many guys find that away from the newness of sex with their partners they can get the condom thing happening. Once he's mastered it solo, it should be fine with you. Remember that extra lubrication (Wet Stuff, KY jelly) will make the condom even safer and more comfortable for you.