FAQs

I was involved in sexual intercourse with my boyfriend. I liked it at the start but when he started to get rough I said 'please stop'. He didn't, he just kept on going. Afterwards it felt like I couldn't move or say anything and I still felt like that the next morning. Why did I feel like that? Was that sexual assault? If so what can I do about it?

Answer

Sexual assault is any physical contact of a sexual nature that was done to you that you did not want. If you asked him to stop and he didn't then that is sexual assault. It does not matter that you were already engaged in sexual activity, it mattered that he didn't stop when you asked.

It is not your fault in any way that you were assaulted. It is against the law.

Not only can such an experience be very confusing because you were with someone that you thought you could trust but also it can leave you feeling shocked and very vulnerable and scared. It is not unusual to feel frozen -unable to react either physically or by speaking, or shutdown -not feeling anything, either good or bad. Some women report not 'feeling right', not being able to function or 'feeling out of their body'. These are all feelings associated with shock and are common following a traumatic event.

It is important to talk to someone about your experience so you can make decisions about what you may want to do about the assault and your relationship.

Often women are reluctant to talk about something like this because you may blame yourself for the assault or feel guilty and ashamed about was has happened, or feel that you are the only person to whom this has occurred.

Unfortunately as many as one in three women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime, so you are not alone.

The NSW Rape Crisis Service is a good place to start to get some assistance and support.
Their phone number is 1800 42 40 17 and they provide a 24 hour, seven days a week telephone service which provides counselling and referral to sexual assault services. You can also access their services including on-line counselling and information from their website: http://www.nswrapecrisis.com.au/

They can refer you to your local sexual assault service for free and confidential counselling, access to services such as sexually transmitted infection screening and support if you decide to report the incident to the police.

I hope this helps you recover from this traumatic event.