Factsheet

Having difficulty finding someone right for me

Date   06 February 2008

Young People and Relationships

The information provided here is based on An Intergalactic Guide to Relationships, project initiated by Central Coast Health.

Getting to know yourself

Being happy with yourself, your life and interests can help you feel content whether you are in a relationship or not. Being "single" offers a great opportunity to get to know yourself better. It offers you a chance to follow your interests and/or try new things. You may want to try spending a bit of time alone doing things you enjoy. This may be helpful in thinking about what you may want if and when you choose to have a partner.

Being happy with yourself may help to make future relationships better, as you are more likely to have confidence in what you want from a relationship. It can be helpful to consider what you would want from a relationship too.

Meeting someone I like

Everyone has different tastes and interests and we are attracted to people for a number of different reasons. Some of these may be:

• the way someone looks
• we are friends with them
• we have common interests
• we have similar ways of thinking about things
• we make each other feel special
• a combination of these things.

Meeting someone you are attracted to may be a case of doing the things you enjoy. Chances are that someone you are looking for likes doing the same things too, so you will have something in common to share. It may be that you:

• play sport
• paint/do some form of art
• volunteer
• play an instrument in a band
• learn to dance
• horse ride
• hang out at the youth centre
• surf

Meeting people can be tough. Try not to be too hard on yourself if you don't meet someone when you want to. Remember being single is OK, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you.

Some people meet others over the Internet. If you plan to meet face-to-face it's a good idea to be cautious of giving out personal details such as where you live, your phone numbers etc. If you decide to meet someone you don't know, it is a good idea to meet where there are other people, such as a cinema, café, or a shopping centre. It may also be a good idea to have a friend near by or tell a friend that you're meeting someone and give them the details. Some people are not always honest and may send false information or may not have your best interests at heart.

Acknowledgements

Thanks to REACHOUT who contributed to this fact sheet. They have a great site to visit for more information - http://www.reachout.com.au

Other Fact Sheets in this series you might want to look at the Reachout site:

Maintaining a Happy Relationship
Assessing a Relationship
I'm Single and I'm Happy!
Starting Out - Do I Want a Relationship?

For further information

Contact the Healthline on 1300 658 886.